


Eisoptrophobia

by hwanaissance



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Happy ending... probably, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Self-Esteem Issues, Victim Blaming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2020-05-13 11:36:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19250407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwanaissance/pseuds/hwanaissance
Summary: Eisoptrophobian.The fear of mirrors or of seeing oneself in a mirror.alt.The fear of ones own reflection.





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> this is loosely based on my feelings towards my reflection/pictures of myself

Do you know what it's like to  _despise_ your reflection?

To vomit when you catch a glimpse of yourself in a window?

To breakdown when a friend asks for a group picture?

Kim Woojin does not own any mirrors.

Kim Woojin taped up the front facing camera on his phone.

 Kim Woojin doesn't like people. They say they respect and understand you, they say you can trust them. 

Then they take your weakness and break you with it, stab you in the back, kill you with your own hand.

Woojin knows he's weird. Different. He's always been taught those are  _bad_ words,  _bad_ things to be.

He hates himself for it.


	2. Do you know what it's like to hate yourself, inside and out?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little backstory:  
> woojin is in his junior year of college, and is transferring to a new college due to an event that took place at his old college.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know how college or campuses work please don't mind the inaccuracies

Woojin sighed and began to double check his bag as the uber pulled up to his new uni. Well, it was more like quadruple checked seeing as he checked it at his house, when he stepped into the car, and when he was midway there.

He took a shuddering breath.

He paid and thanked the driver without looking up from the worn carpet, and fumbled with the door handle.

He thought he could feel the driver's eyes on his back, but maybe it was the paranoia talking. That's what his therapist would say.

He didn't look up once as he trekked from the courtyard to his dorm building. Curse modern architecture, he thought to himself, looking at the practically reflective buildings.

He arrived at the arts dorm, ironically looking quite dull compared to the other buildings he saw.

He checked in at the front desk, and cursed when he saw his room was on the top floor.

_Did he mention he's scared of heights?_

Luckily, the building had an elevator. But when the metallic doors opened and he saw the inside was the same god awful reflective material the doors were made of (which he vehemently avoided looking at) he made a beeline for the stairs.

Good thing he only had a duffle bad and a medium sized suitcase.

________________

When he opened the door to his room, he was a bit in awe. There was a small kitchenette, connected to an even smaller living room, and Woojin wondered how he got such a room to himself.

He slowly walked down the hall (if you could even call it that) separating the kitchen/living room, and into the bedroom.

He stopped.

Were his eyes deceiving him?

There were two beds.

There were two beds and one looks lived in along with that side of the room.

This was not fucking happening.

His therapist wrote the university a detailed email explaining Woojin  _needed_ his own room. They had responded weeks ago, saying it wouldn't be a problem. They'd take care of it.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, the reasonable voice (that sounded oddly like his therapist) in his head soothed.

He walked over to his bed and set his stuff at the foot of it. He sat down on his bed, eyes never once leaving the ground. 

When they did, something in him... stopped.

Maybe it was the reasonable voice, or maybe it was his body as a whole.

But he slumped to the floor, and cried.

There was a window ( _with no blinds!_ ) lying between him and the other boy's space.

God, how pathetic was he, breaking down on his first day at a new uni over a fucking  _window._

He was so  _stupid._

He was so  _pathetic._

He was so-

The door opened.


	3. First meetings are the worst meetings

Bang Chan was excited.

Excited he was finally once again able to meet up with all his friends for lunch, but mostly because he was getting a roommate today.

Chan had always wanted a roommate, but had never been lucky enough to get one, though it was already his junior year.

His friends were over often enough, seeing as he had the largest dorm by far, but whenever they left, his dorm always seemed a bit... lifeless.

Chan planned to take the boys back to his dorm and introduce them to his new roommate, and hopefully make him feel less lonely, seeing as he probably didn't have many, if any, friends at this university.

Chan was even more excited because his roommate was the same age as him, and was also an arts student. Though if his memory served him correct, the boy was getting a bachelors in arts of music, while Chan himself was a music production major.

Chan payed for the meal, only after being promised that one of the other seven boys would pay next time (though it would probably end up being Chan.. again) and they started on their way back to Chan's dorm.

Many of the boys teased that  _their Channie hyung may finally get a boyfriend_ , but Chan just rolled his eyes and did what he did best: ignoring annoying children.

The boys all crammed into an elevator, almost leaving Chan behind but deciding not to when they remembered he was the only one who had a key.

When they walked into the apartment and saw no trace of anyone else, they almost thought the boy hadn't arrived yet. But Chan figured the boy would probably be decorating his side of the room or something, so he led them down the hall.

He turned to the boys and raised a finger to his lips, silently telling them to  _shut the fuck up he may be sleeping!_

When Chan opened the door, he didn't see anyone. But as he looked down to the floor, he did.

He saw a boy, crying and shaking. clawing at his arms with each stuttering breath he took.

He must have heard the door creak open, he turned his head to look at the door so violently Chan feared the boy might have gotten whiplash.

The boy's gaze petrified Chan. he looked so scared. So... unimaginably  _human._

He shut the door quietly, and turned back to the boys who all looked as if they felt just as bad as he did.

'Why don't you boys go sit on the couch.. I'm gonna go see what's wrong.' He whispered with a tight lipped smile, vaguely gesturing to the living room.

The boys all stood there for a second, but silently walked back to the living room.

Chan slowly opened the door, and saw the boy had gone back to staring at the floor as if it had killed his dog.

Chan sat on his bed, directly across from the boy. He realized the boy probably wouldn't look up, and may not like the fact that Chan is quite literally towering over him, so he moved to sit on the floor, less than a foot away from the boy.

Though Chan thought it was impossible, the boy curled in on himself even more, making him look even smaller, even more scared.

Chan reached out his hand, to touch the boy's shoulder, he hesitated. When he turned his hand ever so slightly, to draw it back, the boy flinched so violently he hit the bed.

'Don't touch me!' He yelled, voice shaky and cracking. Breath catching with every word.

Chan retracted his hand as if he'd been burned.

'I-I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to scare you.' Chan whispered, looking at the boy. The boy gave no sign he even heard Chan, and he sighed.

'This may be a bit of a stupid question but are... are you alright?' Chan asked, lowering his head to try and meet the boy's eyes. Thee boy's eyes flickered to his, before they went back to looking at the floor.

'M-My friend is a psych major... Do you want me to bring him in?' Chan asked, glancing at the door. The boy violently shook his head.

'Ok... Uh, is then anything I can do? To um, make you feel better?' Chan asked, and the boy paused.

'W-Water... please.' The boy whispered.

'Oh, of course! You must be thirsty, is it alright if I ask my friend to get it? I won't let him in... and I really don't want to leave you right now.' Chan said, lightly smiling as the boy loosened his hold on his legs.

The boy nodded.

'Alright!', Chan said, grabbing his phone and texting Changbin with the message  _get me a bottle of water, please. if it's not in here in three minutes i'll murder you. love you binnie._

______________________

 

'So.. are we gonna talk about _that_ or what?' Jisung said quietly as soon as they were back in the living room, gesturing wildly towards Chan's room.

'What's there to talk about?', Changbin said, 'New kid was obviously freaking the fuck out for whatever reason and boom'. Changbin shrugged. 

'Do you think he's ok?' Hyunjin asked, eyes teary. Minho hugged him and whispered what was probably words of assurance into his ear.

'He will be when Chan hyung 's done with him,' Minho said, and the boy's laughed.

'I don't know how noona does it...' Changbin sighs, thinking back to all the times Soojin has ranted to him about how she wished she could help her patients more.

'She obviously stole all the good genes from you and Johnny.' Seungmin said, causing everyone to laugh and Changbin to let out a huff of _kids these days._

Their laughter cut off abruptly when they heard a muffled scream from Chan (and new boy's, now) room. Hyunjin whimpered, and Changbin peeked down the hall, to see if either of them were going to make a break for it. The boy's stood, frozen for what felt like hours-

Changbin's phone pinged with a message from Chan and though he ran to the counter to get it, Jeongin beat him to it.

'Hyung, Chan hyung said ' _get me a bottle of water, please. if it's not in here in three minutes i'll murder you. love you binnie.'_ Jeongin said, and would've laughed at the absurd message if not for the situation.

Changbin grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and though he tried to make the boys stay in the living room, no such luck.

They walked down the hall, single file, and Changbin knocked on the door. Chan opened the door as the boy's started preparing to ask questions, but he disappeared as soon as he appeared, with a mouthed _'thank you.'_

______________________

 

'Can I ask your name? My name is Chan.' He said, smiling even more when the boy looked up from where his face was hidden between his knees.

'M-My name is Woojin. Thank you for not thinking I'm.. weird.' He said quietly, whispering the last part.

There was a knock on the door. Chan got up, and all seven boys were there, following changbin like ducklings, all looking as if they had all the questions in the world. Chan closed the door on them before they could even start.

'Here you go. And you don't need to thank me for not thinking you're weird... If anything I should thank you for not kicking me out.' Chan said with a laugh, and Woojin laughed as well.

'Would you like to go say hello to my friends? They're all a bit worried about you...' Chan said, silently hoping Woojin would agree.

Woojin tensed, and pursed his lips.

'Sure.'


	4. Just a little (a lot) braver

Woojin was regretting agreeing to Chan's request and they weren't even out of the hall yet. He could practically feel his mind already shutting down, he had developed that as a defense mechanism over the years and was kind of regretting it now.

_What if he came off rude?_

_What if they thought he hated them?_

_What if they thought he was weird?_

_What if Chan started to regret rooming with him?_

_What if-_

'Hey, guys,' Chan cleared his throat, trying to get their attention. 'This is Woojin, Woojin this is... the guys.' Chan said, seemingly contemplating if he should already introduce them all individually.

The boys all said their hellos, and Woojin just nodded and bowed slightly.

'Hi, I'm Felix.' Said one of them, voice surprisingly deep. Woojin nodded. 'I'm Minho.' A boy, who weirdly reminded Woojin of his old cat said. He nodded again.

By the time they got to Chan's fourth friend, Woojin's social battery was about depleted.

'I'm Jeongin.' The youngest looking one said, and a few of the other boys cooed over him and pinched his cheeks, while he just swatted at them. Woojin flinched a bit.  _They're just playing,_ he reminded himself.

When the last boy finished his introduction, Woojin stuttered a bit, buffered, if you will. He just nodded, for the nth time, only just realizing he'd barely said a word the whole time, and probably seemed incredibly rude. He doubted he'd remember all their names next time he met them,  _if there is a next time,_ his brain supplied, he doubted they'd want to hang out with him, given their first impression of him and how he was unintentionally acting now.

'Oh! Woojin ssi, how old are you?' One boy... Jisung? questioned.

'I'm t-twenty-two.' He said quietly, and a few of the boys gasped.

'I didn't think he was older than me!' A scary looking, but short, boy whined. Everyone (except Woojin) laughed.

An uncomfortable pause...

'So,' Hyun.. Hyun something, spoke, 'What's your major, Woojin hyung- Can I call you that?' Woojin nodded, not wanting to speak, he looked at Chan imploringly.

'Oh! He's getting his bachelor in arts of music, and he specializes in piano and.. vocals?' Chan looked at Woojin for confirmation, and Woojin nodded, a bit stunned that Chan had retained all that information.

'Hyung, please play us something!' Jeongin whined as Felix said, 'Chan hyung, you still have your keyboard, right?' Woojin felt a bit overwhelmed when Chan nodded, but calmed when he looked over at Woojin, silently asking  _are you ok with doing this?_ When Woojin nodded, Chan smiled and boys burst out in loud claps and cheers.

Woojin had somehow forgotten that Chan going to find his keyboard meant he'd be stuck with these people, all alone. He curled in a bit on himself, pure reflex at this point. If anyone noticed, no one pointed it out.

Woojin startled when Chan seemingly magically reappeared, keyboard in tow. It took a minute to set it up, but that was definitely not enough time for Woojin to prepare for playing unexpectedly in a room full of strangers. Hell, he almost failed his entrance exam because of that when he had been preparing for months!

He sat down at the stool one of the boys had brought over and sighed, shaking his head and cracking his knuckles.

Here goes nothing, he supposed.

He decided to play Für Elise for them. It was one of the first pieces he learned in full, and it was his favorite piece of classical music to this day. He knew at the least that he couldn't completely fuck this up. This piece was permanently ingrained into his brain, into his very being. He also quite liked the story behind the piece, it was rather funny to him.

He finished, fingers still delicately hovering over the final keys, letting the notes linger.

He jolted in his seat when everyone started to clap, he may have forgotten they were there... 

He turned around, almost violently, when he heard... crying?

'That was so good hyung!' the Hyun-something kid cried, a few of the boys patting his back consolingly. Woojin pursed his lips, and looked at Chan questioningly,  _does this happen often?_ Chan sighed, and nodded, seemingly annoyed but looking unbearably fond. 

Woojin looked away, back down at his hands not feeling worthy of even seeing Chan look so fond. Chan leaned over, and whispered  _that was really good_ then went back to his original position, as if nothing had even happened.

'Hyung,' Jeongin said, and everyone looked over, 'Woojin hyung,' he corrected himself sheepishly, 'Would you sing for us?' A choruses of _yes please hyung_ 's and cheers followed. And Woojin only knew how nervous he suddenly got when  one of his hands started shaking so bad he accidentally pressed a key.

'I don't think he's up for it,' Chan said for him, silently moving his hand to put it lightly over Woojin's, in an attempt to stop it from shaking, of course. 'Maybe... one of the next times you guys come over?' He looked at Woojin hopefully, and he hesitated, but nodded.

The boys broke out in loud cheers, and Woojin was grateful that if he had to have a roommate, it was one of these boys. 

'I... I could play my guitar, if you'd like,' Woojin said, so quietly he didn't even know if they heard. It went dead silent, and Woojin almost thought he said something wrong-

'Oh hyung, would you please?' Jisung and Felix said, scarily in sync, clasping their hands and poking out their lower lip. And, who was Woojin to say no?

He quietly stands up, and goes to the bedroom. He almost stays there, knowing the boys wouldn't pry, and would only be marginally disappointed, but... he almost, wants to play for them? As out of character as it sounds for him, even to his own ears.

He gingerly gets his guitar out, and sits on the bed. God, it had been so long since he played, he almost sold it to get some extra cash before coming here, but he's glad he kept it.

He winced when he strummed it, it was utterly out of tune. But he kind of liked tuning his instruments, liked making something perfect.

Little did he know, that through the crack in the door, someone learned they liked watching him tune his instruments, almost as much as he liked to tune them. 


	5. It's Universally Known that Everyone Looks More Attractive Doing Something They Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god it has been a Fat Minute im so sorry

'That's kinda creepy, Chan hyung.' Chan jolted as someone tapped his shoulder. He blushed.

'Jesus Bin you almost gave me a heart attack!' Chan whisper shouted. 'I was just... checking up on him?' He sounded unsure himself, and Changbin sighed, Chan had always been a terrible liar.

'Whatever helps you sleep at night, hyung. And wipe that dopey smile off your face before the kids go wild.' Changbin said, patting him on the shoulder and walking away. He should go back to the living room. Chan sighed.

Chan returned to the boys, they all whooped and cheered when he appeared from the hallway. Chan flushed a bit and whined.

Woojin came along shortly after. He sat down on the stool in front of the piano, took a deep breath, and began. He played 'Lost Stars', and it was so beautiful Chan could cry. Woojin was humming along, so engrossed in his strumming he didn't seem to notice.

Woojin blinked a bit when the song ended, seemingly having zoned out and Chan definitely  _did not_ find that weirdly endearing. The boys clapped and hollered, and a shadow of a smile crept onto Woojin's face.

'Chan, I'll trade you Jeongin and Seungmin for Woojin!' Jisung cried, and Chan snickered as he shook his head. Jisung moaned dramatically, clutching his heart.

'I think it's time you boys head back, it's getting late.' Chan said, and everyone whined and sighed in protest. Chan rolled his eyes and pointedly ignored the multiple bodies clinging to his arms. His friends sure had a flair for the dramatics, he sighed.

'Out, now.' He said, and they all sulkily, and very, very slowly made their way out the door.

Chan flopped onto the couch, sighing dramatically when the last boy left. He turned over to find Woojin staring at him. He raised an eyebrow and Woojin flushed.

'I-I'm sorry... It's just I wasn't supposed to have a roommate and this is... Not that it's your fault! If anything I intruded into your space and-' Woojin was rambling a bit, and Chan would have found it endearing it it wasn't so... self depreciating.

'Hey, Woojin. It's ok. I've always wanted a roommate. I can sleep on the couch if you're uncomfortable sharing a room though.' Chan said, smiling.

'No! I couldn't ask you to do that... It is your room after all.' Woojin said looking almost sheepish.

'Our. Our room.' Chan said, smiling at Woojin. 'Well, it's been a long day... Let's get to bed, shall we?'

___________

Woojin could not fall asleep.

According to his phone it was 1:47am which means he had been lying awake for almost four hours.

All because his stupid brain wouldn't let him go to sleep with someone else in the room. He scoffed, changing his position for the nth time that night.

He was so tired.

Woojin sighed. He knew the couch wasn't the most comfortable... But it's better to get five hours of sleep and a hurt back then zero hours of sleep and pass out in class.

He stood up, grabbed his pillow and blanket, and quietly made his way to the living room. He flinched when the door to the hall squeaked, but Chan still seemed dead to the world.

He shuffled his way to the living room, too tired to move properly. He collapsed on the couch as soon as it was in range. He sighed contentedly, he felt like he could breathe again. 

He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

_______________

_You look so pretty, Woojin._

Hands. On him. Everywhere. Touching. Scratching. Hurting. It hurt. He didn't like this.

_Will you be nice for me, for once, hm?_

Woojin cried. He didn't like this. He didn't even know this guys name, what did he mean 'for once'?

_Just stay still, it'll hurt less._

Woojin was staying still, it didn't hurt less.

_Look at yourself, Woojin. Watch me destroy you._

He looked at himself. He, for the first time in his life, truly knew what it felt like to want to die.


	6. You're Alright, Love

Chan was going to throat punch God.

What terrible, omnipotent creature would curse him with such terrible sleeping habits? This is the fourth time in the past week Chan has woken up before four am and he is not happy about it.

Chan groaned, sitting up and popping his back. He usually got up to watch TV, but he didn't want to wake Woojin-

Wait. 

The bed across from his looked untouched, and there was no sign of Woojin to be seen... Where did he go? 

Chan sighed, maybe he had scared the poor guy off. Had he snored? Or talked in his sleep? It was only the first night and Chan had probably already scared him!

He walked into the living room, and almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a groan coming from the couch. 

He tiptoed over, and sighed in relief when he saw Woojin. His eyes adjusted, ans Woojin's face was scrunched up in... fright? Was Woojin having a nightmare? Chan felt like he shouldn't be seeing this, but he couldn't just... leave. 

' _No...'_ Woojin whispered, his voice raspy. He was practically panting, like he ran a marathon. Chan started to lean over the couch, wanting to try and wake Woojin up-

'No!' Woojin yelled as his eyes shot open, 'Don't touch me!' He yelled again as he raised his arm and-

He slapped Chan.

Chan reeled back in surprise. He put his hands up in an attempt to show he meant no harm, but Woojin just backed himself farther into the corner of the couch.

Chan hadn't registered how much his face hurt until he tried to talk, and he winced and whispered  _ow._

Woojin looked up from where his face was buried in his knees, and he put his shaking hand over his mouth.

'C-Chan? Oh.. Oh my god...' He whispered, voice cracking, 'I... I hit you... Oh my god I hit you... Oh god,' He said, breathing picking up again. Oh my god was he crying?

'Woojin! It's ok! I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that... And it's not like you did it on purpose! Please don't cry, It doesn't even hurt that bad I swear!' Chan soothed, reaching out to try and comfort him, but retracting his hand when he remembered how Woojin had reacted last time. 

He looked at Woojin, and he looked a bit conflicted. Chan was about to ask what he was thinking about, when Woojin reached out a shaky hand, and grabbed Chan's hand. Chan's eyes widened in surprise, and Woojin seemed to have taken that as a bad thing as hw started to retract his hand, but Chan just laces their fingers together, and squeezed the other boys shaking hand.

They stayed like that for awhile, Chan leaning a bit awkwardly over the back of the couch, and Woojin pressed up against the arm, but neither of them planned on moving. When Woojin's breathing evened out, Chan cleared his throat.

'Are... Are you ok?' Chan asked, tentatively. Woojin pursed his lips, and shrugged his shoulders, exhaling shakily. Chan didn't know what that meant, but he nodded.

'Do you... Do you wanna talk about it?' Woojin shook his head vehemently, another time, Chan supposed. Chan sighed, wondering if there was anything he could do... what do to...

'You know you don't need to sleep out here, right?' Chan said, squeezing Woojin's hand, seeing the boy had zoned out a bit.

'I know... I just... don't like people, especially people I don't know well- No offense! sleeping in the same room as me.' He seemed to get shy as he said that, like he was ashamed, and Chan let out a sad laugh.

'Ok, just as long as you're not doing it for me. But just remember, if you're ever up for it, the other bed is always open.' He winked, and they both laughed. 

They both knew they wouldn't be getting any sleep anytime soon, so they pulled up Netflix, and put on The Great British Baking show.

They fell asleep after the first episode, and if they missed their eight am, then who had to know?


	7. Cigarettes should only be used for metaphors

When Chan woke up it was around 1pm, which meant Woojin should be getting back soon from his 11am, which meant Chan slept through his 8am... again. He groaned and rubbed a hand over his tired face. Since Chan had nothing to keep his mind preoccupied, his thoughts drifted back to last night (or shall we say earlier that morning). Chan had known Woojin for less than a day and he already really wanted to know why he acted the way he did.

_Why was he crying when I first saw him?_

_Why did he think I'd think he was weird?_

_Why didn't he like to sleep in the same room as people?_

_What was his nightmare about?_

_Why had he seemed so.. scared of me?_

Chan sighed, knowing that if at all, he probably wouldn't be able to ask these questions for a long, long time. He laid down on the couch and was about to turn netflix on when his nose started to burn and his eyes started to water-

Was that smoke? He asked himself as he sniffed the air, and coughed a bit. Definitely smoke... buy what was it coming from?

He walked into the kitchen, the microwave and oven weren't even on, and it seemed the scent had faded when he came in here. What could it be coming from?

Like some kind of blood hound, he sniffed around the living room until he found... a hoodie?

One of Woojin's hoodies.

Chan knew he shouldn't mess with other people's things, but really, if you smelled smoke so strongly you almost choked, you'd want to investigate too, right?

He picked up the hoodie. Seemingly just a regular hoodie, black in color, with a singular pocket in the front, and soft to the touch. 

He hesitated, but then started to sniff the hoodie. He really hoped this wasn't one of the times he (or Woojin, now) had forgotten to lock the door and one of the boys randomly bursted in, this would take a bit of explaining and dinner for a week.

It positively reeked of smoke, but from what!? When he went to go throw it back on the chair, he heard a... jingle? He picked the hoodie back up, reached into the pocket and found-

A lighter.

 _Please don't let this be what I think it is,_ Chan whispered to himself, reaching into the pocket again and finding-

Cigarettes.

 _So Woojin was a smoker? Did he know how bad that was for him? Does he smoke in the house?!_ Chan had a plethora of questions running through his head, when the front door opened. He didn't even look towards the door.

'Woojin, what is this?' He held up the pack, not looking at Woojin's expression, but hearing his stuttered breath. He sighed, growing frustrated.

'Woojin, I asked, what is this shit?' He looked to the door this time, and saw Woojin, who's eyes were wide, and mouth ajar, opening and closing, trying to find words. But suddenly, his mouth shut, his shoulders tensed as he hunched in on himself, and he lowered his head.

'I'm... I'm sorry, Chan. I shouldn't have brought this into your home, hell I-I shouldn't even be here. I'm sorry for causing so much trouble and making you angry, I've obviously only been a bother to you since I arrived... I'll go and ask if I can switch rooms, if-if you'll excuse me.' He said it so quietly, but with such apathy and finality that Chan could only stare as the anger slowly drained out of him.

'Woojin!' He yelled when Woojin actually started to head for the door. He tensed again, and froze in his place.

'Woojin I'm... I'm not gonna kick you out or anything and, yeah, I'm angry but not... how you think I am, yeah?' Chan said it more like a question than a statement, 'I just... Do you know how bad those fucking cancer sticks are for you?' Chan asked, not really knowing what else to say.

'...Yes. Yes I do.' Woojin replied quietly, almost contentedly. Chan was taken aback by that, he certainly hadn't expected it.

'Then... why do you do it?' Chan asked, tentatively, slowly moving closer to Woojin until he was right in front of him. 

'I do it because I don't know what I'd do if I didn't.' Woojin replied, and Chan honestly did not know what to do with that, and was starting to realize how truly out of his depth he was. God he wished Soojin was here. 

'If you smoke because you're stressed you could always talk to... me? Assuming you don't have any closer friends you'd like to talk to... not to say you're a bad friend or anything!' Chan rambled a bit but stopped when Woojin let out a small giggle, 'I should just shut up... but really, me, or the boys, or even Changbin's sister would always be down to listen or do anything, really, if it helped you stop smoking.' Chan said it with such sincerity that Woojin almost believed him.

'Woojin, I have a very serious question.' Chan said, and Woojin got a little nervous, but he nodded.

'Pinky promise.' Chan said, holding out his pinky, not showing any signs that he was joking.

'Why?' Woojin said, barely able to contain how... endeared he was by this turn of events.

'Pinky promise me you'll at least try to stop smoking?' Chan looked up at him, his eyes practically sparkling ( _Seriously how the fuck did he even do that_ ). And who could say no to that? Certainly not Woojin.

He intertwined their pinkies, and assumed that was it, but was sadly mistaken. Chan kissed his own thumb and gestured for Woojin to do the same, Woojin merely quirked an eyebrow, but gave in when Chan whined about how  _it's only an actual pinky promise if you seal it with a kiss!_

Chan bumped their thumbs together, and smiled.

And Woojin almost felt bad for lying.


	8. A/N

hello stay-o3 nation, long time no see. i apologize, i really haven't been on since woojin left. 

does anyone still want to read this, since woojin's gone and all? please let me know, because if no one's going to read, there goes my motivation lol.

ps. i hope you all are doing ok :) remember to stat inside!

**Author's Note:**

> update goal: Every Saturday at 12am CST


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